If we consider that, in children the need to be right is likely a major influence in their lives we can understand why most of us remain attached to our need to be correct. This is true of so many people, whether due to demanding expectations of parents, a humiliating moment in a classroom, or being taunted by friends.
Being right is so overrated, especially when it comes at the expense of basic human kindnesses. Inherent in the need to be right is the desire -- consciously or not -- to put ourselves above others, to make them wrong in order to appease our own insecurities and our ego's need to be perfect.
When we find that we need to be right -- whether in an argument, a discussion or a casual conversation -- we should program our minds and our hearts to appy some of the following virtues.....
1. Openness
We don't always agree with each other, nor should we try to.There is so much to learn from the ideas and opinions of others when we are open to listening to them. When we give up the need to be right, we communicate and listen on a deeper level.
2. Detachment
It really is possible to be passionate about what we're trying to express without being attached to how it's received. When we are attached to what we're saying, and to the need to be right about it, we often end up forcing our ideas on others, or distorting our beliefs simply to gain the approval of others. Detachment gives us the freedom to communicate without the pressure of needing to be seen as right. Through detachment, we can find peace with however our comments are received and with whatever direction a conversation takes. Who's right and who's wrong becomes irrelevant.
3. Humility
The need to be right is rooted deeply in the ego, and one thing our egos are not is humble. We need to swallow our pride when someone says something we believe to be wrong. Even more, we need to be willing to be wrong ourselves. It's not about compromising our truths, but about being humble within the expression of them. It doesn't matter whether we're right or wrong. What's important is how we handle ourselves in either case.
4. Kindness
Dr. Wayne Dyer wrote, "When given the choice between being right and being kind, choose kind." We all struggle with the insecurities of our egos, with the insecurity of being wrong. And a threatened ego will almost always lash out. When we make an effort to prove someone wrong by establishing ourselves as right, we're being unkind in the process, whether we intend to be or not. Only the ego cares about the distinctions between right and wrong. The heart simply loves and accepts whomever is on the other side of the conversation. Let's operate from our hearts, with kindness.
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