Who's Your Puppet Master?

“Mediocrity finds safety in standardization. So, dont compare and follow others… Be a non-conformist. Live your own life because no one is even remotely like you in terms of your innermost feelings, thoughts and desires."

— “PULLING YOUR OWN STRINGS.” Dr. Wayne Dyer

Many of us were raised to say 'YES' all the time. Often that is a great way to maintain a positive attitude. However, that can also easily lead to a "victim" mentality. One author has even referred to it as The Disease to Please! (Dr Harriet Braiker)

Being on the receiving end of manipulation isn’t nice, so how can we deal with manipulators in everyday life? Let's consider some strategies we can employ to stop manipulative people in their tracks and resist the victimization issues.

*No means "no" ~ When it comes to manipulative people, learn the power of saying “no” in a calm and diplomatic way. You don’t need to qualify your “no” with a reason. In fact, providing a reason just gives the person information that they can use to get around your defenses and make you say “yes”. No matter how much they push you, keep saying “no” and they’ll eventually get tired and give up.

*Don't apologize automatically! ~ Sometimes it’s tempting to apologize just to keep the peace, but you’re only giving them more control over you. Manipulators will often refuse to take responsibility for their own actions. Don’t take responsibility for something you know you didn’t do.

*Don't react emotionally ~ The more emotional you get, the more it makes them look like the calm and collected one. They create drama and chaos around them to make you look “crazy” and them look sane. Refuse to engage. Simply say, “I’m sorry you feel that way.” then walk away!

*Establish and maintain clear boundaries ~ Boundaries in human relationships are really important, but manipulative people tend to prey on people-pleasers who have very weak boundaries. If you have weak boundaries, try to write down things that you will and will not accept in your life. If the manipulative person keeps crossing one of your boundaries, know when to walk away and disengage. Decide ahead of time what the consequences will be if they don’t respect your boundaries.

The action list can be much longer. But, if you begin with small steps...change one habit, alter your thoughts a little, change how you feel about things! But most of all...take action!


Begin today to become your own puppet master!